Hello. I'm the second person who asked about gender identity but I didn't ask the first question about it. I was asking a genuine question. I don't know why you had to be so harsh. Is it wrong to be confused and ask questions? I'm still confused but that's okay I guess. Thanks anyway
cont: Second anon again. I want to try to explain further. Labels like man and woman mess with my mind because I feel like they’re telling people how to be. You said wearing pants and playing sports doesn’t make you a man but they are masculine characteristics. But why are they masculine characteristics? Why can’t they just be human characteristics? We define them as masculine but that’s just something humans made up a long time ago when gender roles were more rigid.
You asked the exact same question after I already said I don’t understand what was being asked? Sorry for not magically knowing that you’re a different person??
They are masculine because of socialised norms? They are both masculine and human????
What are you actually asking?
I feel like I’ve addressed everything you’ve said. Literally everything is a social construct. All language is a social construct. All cultural norms are a social construct. Not all social constructs are inherently evil e.g. the idea that we oughtn’t murder people on a whim is a social construct but it’s a pretty good one.
To be honest, I think what you are actually upset about are gender roles and not gender itself.
Maybe you should re-evaluate in your own mind why you think that the terms man or woman inherently mean someone needs to act/dress/look like a certain thing.
My identity as a woman is important to me. Why should I have to sacrifice part of my identity because you think that it’s restrictive ?
[Series of texts by @fatnutritionist, which read: “People are mad at me because they ‘work so hard’ to be fit or lose weight. They have told me this explicitly. It implies that they think my rejecting the values they subscribe to can somehow take away the fitness they’ve worked for. That is totally delusional. If you’ve worked hard for fitness, no amount of fat people rejecting stigma can take that away. So this is obviously not actually about fitness, at all. It’s about the other thing they ‘worked hard’ for: social status. They DO think, and they know, that the social status they have worked hard to earn, through ‘fitness,’ can be devalued. It can be devalued if the hierarchy that rewards them is crushed. Crushed by people rejecting stigma. We can’t take away your fitness or whatever weight you’ve lost. But we can devalue those things by destroying fat stigma. So they are afraid of us, and for good reason. If fat people aren’t stigmatized, then there is no more thin privilege. Remember always, fat people: People are afraid of you because you have an awesome power - to destroy the hierarchy. If they were not afraid of losing their place in the hierarchy, they would not come after you so viciously.” All tweets were accompanied by the hashtag, #notyourgoodfatty]
I'm confused about what it means to identify as either a man or woman. Doesn't that just define what it means to be and what characteristic are masculine or feminine? Wouldn't it be better for people to just be people and wear and do what they want without labelling themselves and man or woman?
Yes. You said that in your first ask. What are you confused about? Please try rewording the question instead of just saying it again.
I thought you were asking a genuine question about terminology but you are actually just in favour of gender eradication.
How exactly does the label of man or woman impact anything in your mind?
I feel like you are too obsessed with the idea of man vs woman when gender is so much broader than that. Those aren’t the only two options! And it is human nature to need to be able to express how we feel inside through language, hence the categorization of gender.
People should wear and do whatever they want because being a man/woman doesn’t define how you need to act or what you need to wear. That is the entire point of my last answer to you. Gender roles should indeed be eradicated but how do you suggest gender itself is harmful?
Just because I wear a dress and make up doesn’t make me a woman. I’m a woman because I feel like I am a woman. When I wear pants and play sports, I don’t suddenly become a man because I’m performing masculine traits.
Similarly, a trans person who identifies as a woman but who has a penis and who wears masculine clothing isn’t a man simply because they have masculine traits.
Masculine and feminine =/ gender.
If you are gender queer or don’t see yourself as gendered at all - that’s okay, that’s your identity. But that doesn’t mean that no one else should be able to have handy code-words to express who they feel they are inside.
Due to a weird Quizilla obsession I had when I was 12, I love knowing people’s personality types.
What is everyone else?
what does it mean to feel like/identify as a man or a woman? I didn't chose to be raised into a 'woman' and I just don't get it. xx
I don’t understand the question? I’ll try to answer it but you can let me know if I missed the point.
Identifying as a man/woman literally just means that you feel like you are a man or a woman. I was raised as a woman and have never had a reason to question my identity as a woman, and therefore I still identify as being a woman. But there are also people who were raised as a boy but who actually identify as a woman, and therefore they are a woman.
The reason we use the term “identify as” is because it recognises the fact that gender is something which we ascribe to ourselves and others i.e. it does not need to correlate to our physical appearance or our genitalia.
Gender is an important part of people’s identity and because there are many ways to experience and express the identity of a man or a woman or any other gender in between, the term “identify as” helps everyone to express how they feel inside regardless of their personal idea of what it means to be feminine or masculine.
Las Adelitas - Women of the Mexican Revolution
Every time I see a post about hymens and virginity, I need to say this and reiterate it and just make everyone understand:
your first time is not supposed to hurt
your first time is not supposed to hurt
your first time is not supposed to hurt
IT IS NOT A REQUIREMENT TO BLEED FOR YOUR FIRST TIME
REASONS YOU MIGHT BLEED FOR YOUR FIRST TIME:
- Not enough lubrication.
- Not enough preparation.
- Not enough foreplay.
- Your partner is a giant dicksplash.
TIPS AND HINTS FOR YOUR FIRST TIME THAT I WISH I HAD:
- LUBE IS YOUR VERY BEST FRIEND! Yes the vagina secretes a fluid that can act as a natural lubricant but that is not enough for vaginal sex. And for some women (like myself), they do not secrete nearly enough for even penetration, let alone sex. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH LUBE.
- FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY!!! You want to be good and turned on, like super turned on, coz the more you’re aroused, the more pliant and warm your vagina is going to be, and it’s more likely to allow a dick in without tearing. Like even when you’re giving birth, doctors nowadays will actually massage the outer rim of your vagina so that everything loosens up and allows A FUCKING BABY TO BE BORN WITHOUT TEARING YOU.
- PREPARATION (WHICH IS SOMEWHAT RELATED TO FOREPLAY)!!!! If you have never had anything in your vagina before, you’re probs gonna need a couple fingers in there to help you loosen up. This can easily be tied into foreplay.
- A GENTLE, UNDERSTANDING LOVER WHO KNOWS AND RESPECTS THE ABOVE HINTS!!!! You don’t have to be in love with the person you first have sex with, but it should be someone who respects you and your boundaries!!! Before having sex with someone, explain to them these things and your masturbatory experience, your wants and needs. If they don’t respect that THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR VAGINA.
Basically it comes down to this: if your partner says “it’s normal to bleed the first time,” sit him (or her) down and talk to them about what actually happens and how it’s supposed to go. If they respect that, cool. If they don’t, fuck ‘em. Actually no, don’t fuck them, dump their ass and find someone who doesn’t subscribe to the belief that anything as lovely and intimate as your first time having sex has to hurt.
This is a basic patriarchal myth to both scare women from having sex, as well as contribute to the laziness of men in terms of making sex enjoyable for their female partners.
Sex never has to hurt. And don’t you dare let anyone tell you that it fucking has to.
If you have health problems that legitimately make vaginal intercourse hurt, there are a billion other things you can do with your partner, and you should communicate your health issues to every single partner. Again, if they respect that, rock on. If they don’t, tell them ‘adios’ and leave the bedroom.